All white people are racist. The Covid lockdown has forced us into a veritable jail. All pigeons should be culled and taxidermied as trophies.
Got your attention? Great. Job done. No need for further comment. All you need to know is that I hate everything and everyone and the world is going to collapse shortly due to climate change, so good riddance.
But here, precisely, is the problem with opinion articles. Rustle up a poor argument and wrap it in emotive language and poof, Bob’s your uncle. No need for balance, debate, analysis, an outrageous headline will suffice, followed by some poetic lines expressing disgruntlement at just about anything.
But forgive me, not ALL (#notall) comment articles are quite so deficient, just as not all white people are racist (no one in their right mind would believe you are, reader). And not all pigeons need be murdered, particularly not this one sitting on my sill, providing lustful distraction.
Take this article, for example — it’s nuanced, perceptive, and presents some valuable assertions worthy of reflection. Indeed, it is a rare example, which demonstrates just the right way to go about writing opinion.
Be that as it may, few writers possess such talents of effective persuasion as I do, and we cannot judge all by one. So I hereby call an end to all opinion pieces and demand a revolt to what was before: a media controlled by Murdoch’s Ministry of Truth, with Dominic Cummings as its modern chair.